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FASTERCAT I like this

FASTERCAT is a 45 year old guy from Oaklandon, Indiana, USA.
Calmly nuerotic. Aggressively passive. Right wing leftist. Chainsmoking health nut. Black belt nancy boy. Hardworking derelict. Stoned sober. Mentally incontinent. Chivalrous jerk. Empathetic schizoid. Intelligent idiot. Don't know what I want to be when I grow up.